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"Mother, oh wonderful mother,
I've come to the table to dine.
I'm so unbelievably hungry,
whatever you're serving is fine.
"The fact that it looks
like a goiter
is nothing some ketchup won't cure.
And a dollop of spicy brown mustard
will give it some zip to be sure.
"The fact that it smells
like a gym sock
won't matter as long as it's hot.
Perhaps if I douse it with gravy
I'll find that I like it a lot.
"The fact that it still
tastes like sewage
just means that a little more salt
will make this concoction you're serving
go down like fast fries and a malt.
"Mother, oh wonderful mother,
Your cooking is always the best!
Tomorrow let's order a pizza.
You've certainly earned a night's rest."
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